He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
