It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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