He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
