Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
