So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
