Your face is a jimmy john
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
