exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
