How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She's the barista slut.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize