did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
