its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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