At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
