I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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