I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We got so high we made milksteak
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
