sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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