I puked a lego.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
