I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
