This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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