What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
