the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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