the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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