hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize