he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
