break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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