Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
