Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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