She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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