it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
