hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
