I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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