sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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