so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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