i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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