i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
