Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
