I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize