called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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