nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
