doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
