i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
