Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
