It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
