A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
