The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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