either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
