When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
