I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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