Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Drunk is not a location!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
