The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Congratulations! We have a period
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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