Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
