it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
