it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
