soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
