U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
