I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
