Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
dude. I can hear the air.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
