Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
