God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
