we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
